I just want to be beautiful, to be noticed, to stand out in a crowded room. To have the guys look at me and think, "Damn, she is beauitful." Is that so vain? Can I want that without it being bad? I'm so tired of hating myself. They say you don't have to be skinny and beautiful to love yourself, and I get that. But I don't want to love what I have become. This isn't my best, and so I won't let it be okay. If I starve myself, it's not because I want to hurt my body. In fact, I want to take care of it. But I can't go to school like this, hating myself. I won't live life in hiding anymore. I want to be the healthy kind of skinny, have great legs, and look awesome in a bikini... and that's okay. It doesn't make me vain, or self obsessed. It just means that i'm going to fight for what I want. Sometimes i'm afraid that I might want all this just for the attention of the boys, and it's partly that. Although, I know that loving myself and my body will be far more important than ever getting a cute boys attention. It's going to be a fight, but i'm still here... trying again. And that means that I have not failed, there is still hope. I pray to God, to give me blind motivation. That the barriers of my mind will no longer beat me down... This time, I will succeed.
<3 OnTheCountOfTwo
-Montana/Hotel 6
